


Hold On

by monkeywand



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Pregnancy, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-19 05:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16528496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkeywand/pseuds/monkeywand
Summary: It's all she can do to hold on. All she can do to keep herself from breaking down, giving into the pain that has taken over her entire body.





	Hold On

It's all she can do to hold on. All she can do to keep herself from breaking down, giving into the pain that has taken over her entire body. She just wanted it to be over, this endless agony. She's so tired. Her eyes flutter and she can feel herself becoming weaker. It's taking all of her energy just to keep herself conscious.

Coolness touches her forehead but she's too delirious to tell if it's real or not. She can hear soft murmuring but she can't pick out exactly what's been said. She feels someone or something stroking back her hair and she knows it must be fake. Why else would someone be tormenting her in this way?

Another shock of pain cascades through her body, forcing her eyes open. A high-pitched sound erupts from her mouth, somewhere between a loud yelp and a feral growl. She clenches her jaw tight, forcing down the sound and the pain.

Words finally pierce her consciousness. "Breathe," a disembodied voice says. She exhales, an automatic response to the order given.

"And again," the irritating voice comes again. She grunts, forcing the air out of her lungs. Her entire body is on fire and all she wants to do is rest in peace. All she wants is to be rid of the suffering. It comes again, riding her body like a wave, contracting and contorting. She screams, trying to self-medicate against the pain.

It stops.

The agony, it stops. So suddenly that she is plunged into darkness, like a flick of a switch. Her eyes are shut, she realizes, but beyond that she doesn't know. Doesn't really care. It stopped, the pain, the pressure, it's all gone. She feels like she is drifting, floating in the air like a feather in the wind.

She can feel the after-shocks tingling through her body but she ignores them. It's better this way. All she wants to do is sleep. Forever. A high-pitched wailing fills her ears and it's all she remembers as the world goes black.

* * *

"Shit! She's crashing. Get me the paddle. Everyone stand clear!"

Beep.

Crash.

Flat-line.

"Shocking again."

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

A steady but weak rhythm fills the air.

"Oh, thank god!" a woman breathes. She'd been pushed to the side, shoved out of the way, out of the tangle of busy bodies determined to keep their patient alive. She leans back against the wall, legs like jelly, unwilling to support her full weight.

Nearby, a small cry fills the newly restored silence. She shuffles over, finding her way unobscured. A wriggling bundle lays in a small crib, displeased to be displaced from his warm home. She strokes his cheek and he calms, turning his face into her knuckles. She chuckles softly.

"Sorry, sweet boy, I can't help you there. Only your mama can." She looks over. The woman hadn't stirred but neither had she flat-lined again either.

* * *

She stirs, eyelids fluttering. Her body aches and she wonders which unsub had shot her this time. Only it wasn't an unsub, she realizes as her eyes flash open. She takes in the off-white walls, the steady beep of a heart rate monitor, even the weird antiseptic smell that all hospitals have.

"J…" she croaks, then coughs and groans as the pain flares up.

"Hey, hey," the woman in question answers, bringing over a cup. She places the straw in the other woman's mouth, helping her drink. "You gave us quite a scare."

"Baby?" She tries again. "Jen, what happened?" JJ smiles.

"Baby boy. You crashed as they delivered him. I told them to hold off on writing a certificate. I wanted you to be awake." Her smile drops. "Em, you scared me."

Emily grabs the blonde's hand, squeezing tightly. "Sorry," she utters, wishing there was something more she could say. JJ shakes her head.

"You're okay, that's all that matters." She sniffs, fighting back the tears. She leans over and kisses Emily's head. "Want to meet your son?" she asks, turning to the small crib set off to one side of the room.

"Our son you mean." JJ smiles.

"Our son," she repeats. She carefully passes the brunette the baby.

Emily smiles. She was apprehensive at first, wondering if she could do this, if she could have a baby after so many years. There were a few times she was ready to quit. But there was something always stopping her. Most times it was the petite blonde standing beside her, other times it was the baby moving within her belly that caused her to stop in her tracks.

She is grateful. To be here and now, to share this moment with the woman that she loves. Never had she thought she'd be here. To be a part of something magical.

"Aiden," she whispers after a moment. "Aiden Nicholas Jareau Prentiss." She looks up at JJ to see a tear roll down her cheek.

"Really?" Emily nods.

"He's a part of you just as much as he is a part of me." JJ kisses her, mindful only of the baby in her partner's arms. She kisses her, trying to convey all her thoughts and feelings into the one motion. Emily pulls back first, grinning wide.

"I take it you're happy?"

"Very." JJ kisses her again, briefer this time.

"I love you, you know that, Jen?" Emily says quietly, looking down at the infant in her arms. "You and Henry and now Aiden. Without you, I don't think I could have done this." JJ shushes her.

"You and the boys are my whole world," she replies. Emily smiles at her.

It's moments like these that she is thankful. Thankful for the woman that walked into her life, bringing color and meaning to it. She is thankful for Henry and for her son for showing her how to keeping on living and loving when things get tough. Without them, she wouldn't be here.

She looks down at her son, taking in his dark eyes staring back at her.

"Welcome to the world, Aiden Nicholas Jareau Prentiss. May it show you the wonders it has shown me."


End file.
